Holy Crap - Part 1

 

Holy Crap 

Part 1

Religion seems to play an awfully big role for people.  My old theology professor, Dr. George LaMore might just be raising a questioning eyebrow on where this might be going.  he would not be happy.  Our dear departed Dr. was about the most learned man I ever had in my schooling career.  He was fiercely unapologetic about his belief in and passion for religion.  It had few better ambassadors and he was, academically, a missionary for its perceived rewards.  He was a kin to a carnival barker with a handful of tickets to see Frieda, the Frog Baby; he was far more concerned with butts he could persuade to seats than in the reality of poor Frieda.

For me, religion was never more entertaining than when Bill Seaton cut one during a prayer in church when we were kids.  When his mother, Doris, rapped him on the shoulder to scold, he did it again.  Religion, of course, isn't meant to be entertaining, although Bill made sure we went the next Sunday just to see if he could top his last performance.  Religion is meant to manipulate.  If it could induce people to get the giggles like we all did with Bill, churches would be full every Sunday.  We couldn't make enough of them nor gig enough.  As is surely a truth, in or out of church, farts are funny.  

Organized theology: that which is man-made, man-organized, and unfortunately man-led, has all too often been mean, bullying, brazen, often illegal and downright murderous, and yet we sanctify it daily, not only here and in every land on earth.  Indeed, all of religion is man-made.  There is not one item to prove the divinity of any human, non-human or entity.  There is not one item to prove the existence or non-existence of God/god/gods/Prime Mover.  No one has ever come back to tell us of heaven.  Billions have died, and yet, non have discovered a way back.  All the books of the Bible were written by men or committees.  Every religious tome regarding all the other religions of the world were written by men or committees.  

The messages of religions are good ones.  Faith and good behavior begets eternal life.  Sacrifice, good or obedient citizenship, respect for others and prayer will get you to the promised land.  The problem, of course, is if there were no theologies, wouldn't we have come up with the same stuff?

Before you misunderstand my observations, I focus only on the organized aspect of religion.  You can easily replace religion with any organization and you will get, more or less, the same results.  For example, The Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts is one of the greatest enduring organizations around.  It has helped young'uns learn all kind of great things and is surely a highwater mark for us.  Except that it going to have to declare bankruptcy soon because of lawsuits from past scouts regarding sexual abuses.  The NRA is having to do the same because of ridiculous spending habits and embezzlement from its leaders.  Many things go from good to bad because people fuck things up. Look at the Mets, the Beatles, Studebaker,  Roseanne I and II, and the Republican party.  Czar Nicholas had a good thing going until he hired Rasputin.

But I digress.  Sometimes things get better.  Law of averages.  Let's see, where was I?  Oh, yes.  The history of organized religion is like tracking a serial killer through the decades.  lets take a look.

A pig caused hundreds of Indians to kill one another in 1980. The animal walked through a Muslim holy ground at Moradabad, near New Delhi. Muslims, who think pigs are an embodiment of Satan, blamed Hindus for the defilement. They went on a murder rampage, stabbing and clubbing Hindus, who retaliated in kind. The pig riot spread to a dozen cities and left more than 200 dead.

The swines!  Religious behavior sucks.  If we could have had more of Bill's particular brand of behavior e might have some deliciouly wonderful tales to tell.  However, behavior has been downright cruel.

— The First Crusade was launched in 1095 with the battle cry “Deus Vult” (God wills it), a mandate to destroy infidels in the Holy Land. Gathering crusaders in Germany first fell upon “the infidel among us,” Jews in the Rhine valley, thousands of whom were dragged from their homes or hiding places and hacked to death or burned alive. Then the religious legions plundered their way 2,000 miles to Jerusalem, where they killed virtually every inhabitant, “purifying” the symbolic city. Cleric Raymond of Aguilers wrote: “In the temple of Solomon, one rode in blood up to the knees and even to the horses’ bridles, by the just and marvelous judgment of God.”

— Human sacrifice blossomed in the Mayan theocracy of Central America between the 11th and 16th centuries. To appease a feathered-serpent god, maidens were drowned in sacred wells and other victims either had their hearts cut out, were shot with arrows, or were beheaded. Elsewhere, sacrifice was sporadic. In Peru, pre-Inca tribes killed children in temples called “houses of the moon.” In Tibet, Bon shamans performed ritual killings. In Borneo builders of pile houses drove the first pile through the body of a maiden to pacify the earth goddess. In India, Dravidian people offered lives to village goddesses, and followers of Kali sacrificed a male child every Friday evening.

— In the Third Crusade, after Richard the Lion-Hearted captured Acre in 1191, he ordered 3,000 captives — many of them women and children — taken outside the city and slaughtered. Some were disemboweled in a search for swallowed gems. Bishops intoned blessings. Infidel lives were of no consequence. As Saint Bernard of Clairvaux declared in launching the Second Crusade: “The Christian glories in the death of a pagan, because thereby Christ himself is glorified.”

— The Assassins were a sect of Ismaili Shi’ite Muslims whose faith required the stealthy murder of religious opponents. From the 11th to 13th centuries, they killed numerous leaders in modern-day Iran, Iraq and Syria. They finally were wiped out by conquering Mongols — but their vile name survives.

— Throughout Europe, beginning in the 1100s, tales spread that Jews were abducting Christian children, sacrificing them, and using their blood in rituals. Hundreds of massacres stemmed from this “blood libel.” Some of the supposed sacrifice victims — Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln, the holy child of LaGuardia, Simon of Trent — were beatified or commemorated with shrines that became sites of pilgrimages and miracles.

— In 1209, Pope Innocent III launched an armed crusade against Albigenses Christians in southern France. When the besieged city of Beziers fell, soldiers reportedly asked their papal adviser how to distinguish the faithful from the infidel among the captives. He commanded: “Kill them all. God will know his own.” Nearly 20,000 were slaughtered — many first blinded, mutilated, dragged behind horses, or used for target practice.

Part II Coming Soon.